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In 1993, a document began circulating on the early internet. It purported to be a memo from the European Commission announcing the gradual reform of English spelling.
“In the first year,” it read, “‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c.’ Sertainly, this will make sivil servants happy.”
“In the second year, the hard ‘c’ will be replased by ‘k.’ Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers kan now use one less letter.”
“In the third year, we will remove double letters. They have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’ is disgrasful.”
By year five, the memo had reached the stage where “ze unesesary ‘o’ in words like ‘people’ vil be dropd, and z voised ‘s’ vil be replased by ‘z.'”
The memo ended: “Z administrators vil have to veir zis trou ze komputers.”
It was, of course, a joke. But for three weeks, the British press reported it as real. The Daily Telegraph ran an outraged editorial. A member of Parliament asked a question in the House.
That’s when you know the joke is about a real wound.
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