The newspaper headline read: CEO RESIGNS AFTER SCANDAL.
The CEO called the editor, furious. “I did not resign! I said I would re-sign the contract!”
“Same spelling,” said the editor.
“There’s a hyphen!”
“The hyphen fell out. Between editing and layout.”
“So a punctuation mark the width of a hair cost me my job?”
“Welcome to English,” said the editor. “Where ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing — except at a funeral, where only one of them is legally admissible. Where ‘quite good’ is a compliment in America and an insult in Britain. Where ‘the bandage was wound around the wound’ is a valid sentence.”
A long pause.
The CEO sighed. “Print a correction.”
They did. The correction said: CEO TO RE-SIGN AFTER SCANDAL.
It didn’t help.