Ghoti

George Bernard Shaw was at a dinner party in London when the conversation turned to the absurdity of English spelling.

“It’s quite simple, really,” said a linguist from Oxford. “English is phonetic. You just need to learn the rules.”

Shaw smiled. “Is that so?” He pulled out a napkin and wrote four letters: G-H-O-T-I.

“Pronounce that.”

The linguist stared. “Goatee? Gotty? Gah-tee?”

“Fish,” said Shaw.

“I beg your pardon?”

“GH as in enou**gh**. O as in w**o**men. TI as in na**ti**on. Ghoti. Fish.”

The linguist was silent for a long moment. Then he poured himself another drink.

Shaw left the napkin on the table. It is said the linguist kept it.